Finally, it is the end of 2024! My family has been joking that we cannot wait for the year to end, as it has just been a shocker. For context, I broke my ankle a few days in to 2024 and that wasn’t even the worst thing that happened. So, yeah. Normally I don’t get caught up in new year nonsense as I call it but this year I am grateful for the opportunity to turn over a new leaf and have a fresher start.

Although it’s been a terrible year by my standards, I also have been reflecting on the good things that came out of it. For one, I’m proud of myself for getting through all of the challenges that were thrown my way, because I think even a couple of years ago I would have really struggled with everything. I think it’s important to recognise the good things that come from negative experiences, and the learning opportunities they present. This post consists of a few things I’ve learned over the year. I hope you find it helpful in some way on your own personal journey.

Laugh

In September, I had the opportunity to go to a conference at the University of Cambridge. Although there were a lot of bad things in my life this year, this conference, I have to say, was one of the highlights. For starters, I got to go to Cambridge for it, which was pretty incredible, and then I explored gamelan all over Europe, which made me feel a bit like I was making a documentary or something and that appeals to me. But by far the best part of this conference was that it showed me how to laugh. That might sound crazy – everyone laughs, right? But this conference was where I felt I laughed properly for the first time this year. Sure, I may have done the act of laughing. But I hadn’t laughed in the sense of expressing joy. At the conference, I enjoyed meeting people, and laughing at their jokes, and they laughed at mine, and overall it was a really joyous time. I was creative and funny and happy, which were things I’d not felt for a while. It was the perfect antidote to what had been a terrible year. My lesson: laugh, and if you can’t laugh, create until you laugh.

Explore

In 2024 I spent 4 months (a 3rd of the year!) by myself in a foreign country. Half of that was with just a backpack. Solo travel is exhilarating and exhausting. When in Europe, I had no plans and often booked places to stay a day in advance, or less (including one memorable time where I did it on the bus to my next city). There is a real freedom that comes with solo travel, in being anywhere you want to be and not being upheld to anyone else. Of course, that makes it lonely and sad at times, with no-one to share the experience. Solo travel is inherently more dangerous – you have no-one to back you up or support you on decisions. Because of this, you become a stronger person as you learn how to handle things alone. It’s an experience I would recommend to everyone, even if you’re in a relationship. Travelling as a couple is fun, but I think travelling solo develops a different set of skills. I learned a lot about myself over those months, and I wouldn’t trade the experiences for anything.

I am responsible for everything in my life

Two quotes come to mind here. Mark Manson says we can’t control what happens to us, but we can always control how we respond to what happens to us. Jerry Colonna asks “how am I complicit in creating the conditions I say I don’t want?” Fundamentally, these are both talking about responsibility. I found it useful to start thinking about how I was responsible for everything in my life. When I broke my ankle, and I got upset afterwards, people close to me would say “well, don’t be hard on yourself – it wasn’t your fault”. I agree with not being hard on myself, but in some ways it was my fault. I chose to ride my bike that day to work. I chose to ride it once it started raining. I chose to keep riding once it got heavy. I controlled the speed I travelled at and when I chose to turn. The actual breaking of the ankle may have been a freak accident; I can say that I also created the conditions for that accident to occur. Every situation we end up in our life is a result of the choices we make. People don’t like to confront this, because it is human nature to not take accountability for our situation. Obviously, some people have more choices available to them. I can’t just choose to live a luxury lifestyle. If that was important to me, though, I could plan out how to get that luxury lifestyle based on decisions I could start making today. Ultimately, I am create every situation in my life and only I am responsible for those situations.

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